*Hiritan na ako sa mga ibang bagay wag lang sa sensitive na topic tulad nito.*
She drives around the roads that resemble the moon and its craters at the start of rush hour. Twenty minutes late for an appointment is just plain rude. She hates waiting and at least, he was there already. She gets the usual cuppa joe from Starbucks. Warm caramel macchiato by default as this might be a quickie. Too bad there was no backup plan in case something goes wrong.
She looks behind her and searches for that familiar face that started it all last year. At that moment she knew that a part of her is still with him. Yellow shirt, different hair cut but still the same guy.
"Warm caramel macchiato for Hazel!", the barista exclaimed. She took her drink from the bar without a moment's hesitation and after two steps, placed them on a table. He slowly looks up from reading today's paper to see who it is. She smiles awkwardly and sits. Small talk, pep talk, whatever talk it was, he tried to generate something, a measly connection that used to be, out of thin air. One-liners and one-worded responses shot down any futile attempt on his part. It was the start of the end.
He laughs awkwardly as he always does when nervous. She's seen that a thousand times before from the time that they first tried to revive what was left of their past up to this moment where it has to end. "You know that I laugh when I'm nervous right?" A blank stare with a slight nod for a reply. It seemed a little cold for a humid afternoon. Finally, he said it.
"I'm sorry. I know I was a jackass but you have to know that what I said was true."
"Which part?"
"All of it."
Gibberish. The first word that came to mind. Now, it seemed as though she's more bullshit proof as ever. She has thought that actions always speak louder than words and this perfect example right here is why men are just as complicated as women. He loved her yet he chose to be with somebody else. Her eyes were rolling at the back of her mind but her front was just a piercing blank stare into the eyes who used to look at her with sheer admiration. She still misses him but not the way she used to.
"It's your turn. What do you want to tell me?"
"I actually wanted to tell you the same thing. I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for? I'm the one who screwed up!"
"Yeah I know but I'm sorry that we didn't make it. I mean, we tried again but still it didn't work."
"I know I was a jackass for doing that and I'm sorry. I really am."
Piercing stare still there.
"I'm not angry anymore. I have let it go a long time ago. I mean, I realized it was useless because even if I'd get angry, it won't bring you back to me."
More apologies from him. It got a little tiring already and she was itching to go, to rest, to cry for the very last time for this favorite song that won't be played any more ever again.
He still tried small talk again, but unfortunately, the macchiato was gone within 15 minutes. She wanted to go because she has already said what she wanted to say. She found out the truth about the weird incidents with his sister. Everything now makes sense.
As they left the coffee shop, her heart started to feel heavier and heavier with each step out the door because it finally started. The goodbye.
He really tried to win her back, at least as a friend but there was no way he could get through to her ever again.
Two hearts tried twice to fit with each other. Now that they realize it wasn't meant to be, they finally let it go.
This is the start of the day I lost my favorite song.