Straddling on gray lines
between Plato and desire,
I burn for every chance
to catch you smile.

Five simple words,
you got my heart over my head.
Roses taint my vision
with everything of you.

Wish...

Hope...stop.

Wish...

Hope...stop.

I'm damaged, jaded and broken.
For every confusion, I look back at the why's
how's and what's.

Rest now my heart, for he's just an ordinary boy.

"Oh how life might take what dreams may come..." - Standing Still - Buddahead

back to you

it always comes around

back to you

I tried to forget you

I tried to stay away

But it's too late



over you

I'm never over

over you

there's something about you

It's just the way you move

the way you move me



Yea, I'm so good at forgetting

and I quit every game I play

but forgive me love

I can't turn and walk away(this way)



back to you

it always comes around

back to you

I walk with your shadow

I'm sleeping in my bed

with your silhouette



should have smiled in that picture

if it's the last that I'll see of you

it's the least that you could not do



leave the light on

I'll never give up on you

leave the light on

for me too



back to me

I know that it comes

back to me

doesn't it scare you

your will is not as strong

as it used to be

Lyrics | John Mayer lyrics - Back To You lyrics

My new "I'm yours" song. I was listening to it while on my last stick of cigarette after a mind-bending "quiz" in Basic Computer Concepts class. Now, if only I could find someone willing to sing this to me. Or not. I found the person. He just won't sing it to me. Shit. This is hard. I see you and suddenly, I'm back to square one.

Labels: music, what might have been

The One Who Got Away knocked some sense into me last night. I wanted to hit him back, physically but only because he was making me realize how stupid and pointless it was to pine for you. Now, I understand better that actions really do speak louder than words.

Now, all I have to say to you is that we never got together for a reason. Because of the inconsistencies and uncertainties, I now realize that every second we never had is a gift. You were right all along. This is the better outcome. It could have been worse if we became a couple. I don't hate you. I'm just... happy because I am enlightened that there never was an "us".

I just wish that my friend could do the same; listen to friends and realize that pining for someone who doesn't give a shit about you is pointless, exhausting and that we are better for someone else. You wait! You just wait because one day, you will finally meet the guy whose place you wish you took.

I am sooooo happy that this is over. I won't erase this. Actually, this is an entertaining outlet I have here as well as a record of those mistakes I made. Now, I am sure that even though you will run after me, I will never go back to you.

*Phew* I thought I was going to break my "Don't Recycle Boys" rule. I was one sentence away from breaking it. In the nick of time, I was saved. I have saved myself with the help of friends and family. Thank you, Achi. Thank you, The One That Got Away. It all makes sense now.

Better days, here I come!!!!! :D

Driving on fours, one mile long
road, speakers blast songs as cold as
the depressing rainy day. Traffic light
flashed red, I remember lying in bed.
I remember how much the soft embrace,
the warmth of your breath and everything
in your eyes were all that I needed.
It
is
going,
g o ing,
g o i n g...

One day, it will be gone.


"But I can't read your mind, not this time."
- Not This Time - Cultured Pearls

Labels: what might have been

"Every long lost dream
Led me to where you are.
Others who broke my heart,
they were like northern stars
pointing me on my way
into your loving arms."

- Bless the Broken Road - Rascal Flatts

Nero was playing this on shuffle while I was strolling around Greenbelt. I was reminded today that someone will come. It will happen, and if it doesn't I'm still grateful for the people I have, including you. :)

You were just one among the others...

Labels: into the light

As long as I live, I don't intend you to follow or even let alone know that a blog such as this exists. This is the first day. This is the first day I will try to move on. You are my "What Might Have Been", and I guess you will always be that someone to me but I have to stop pining for you and this blog will exactly help me do just that.

I never expected that blow from you the other day. Everything was going smoothly and I intend for you to come back to me despite my pride and ground rule that I will never go back to what has been already finished. Sadly, I did and it was for you. And for me to realize that what we had was just until there is very frustrating. I actually don't know if whatever we had meant that much for you not to have enough courage to see what lies beyond that finality that we both set three years back. It's just so disappointing that after all this time, I'm still the one at the losing end when at the time I thought it had to end, that it was for the best.

Thank you for teaching me to say "no". It was hard for me and at that time, it did seem that you were just after sex. That really upset me. I really don't know if this is the better outcome. I really wish you would have been mine so I don't have any more unanswered questions. It bothers me a lot because every idle second, I think about how it could have been better or how we should not have done it the way we did.

"I'm setting myself up for the hurt." That's exactly what my friend said and I definitely agree. I have to move on but I don't want to seem suddenly all weird on you. When I say we could be friends, I meant that. I just wish that moving on is that easy and fast.

I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new...
Hello, good morning, how You been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad

Labels: what might have been