I hate to see the relationship go down like this but... I'm giving up. Actually, I gave up on you a long time ago (well, not really. Just a few weeks ago.) and I'm just making things clear and final. Whether we date or not, you're gonna lose me anyway. I've given up the last spark of hope that there is some decent guy in you enough to like me that much. I was wrong. Are things really simple and we just make it complicated or it's just complicated and we just make it even more complicated. Actually, I could handle the truth of you not being into me but to leave me dangling here like a wind chime sucks and hurts so much more than just telling the raw truth straight to my face. Every single one of my friends think you're not good for me and now, I really see why. I now see that there was really never going to be an "us". Things are already tangled up inside my head and now it's more tangled than ever. I take back what I said a few days ago, it wasn't going to be the last time that I see you. This one is. You are one hell of a "What Might Have Been". Some people would actually go through the ends of the earth just to see what could happen if their "One that Got Away" came back for them but you are just something else. Now that I see you more clearly than ever, I hope you get what you wish for. As for me, I wish now for a life without you. You, who wanted sex just to get through your depression, who got over me in a snap, who made me feel as if I was second best, who kissed me and told me I was beautiful only to find out you don't want to be with me. Nothing will change my mind. I've given it a chance but you just don't want to work for it. I just want one guy I can love who can love me back the way I know how. Love, find me now. Please.

So I finally confronted you about it. It seemed to me that you don't have a choice and based on your response, I can infer that you don't want to be with me. Either that or you're telling me the truth but my friends all just disapprove of you. They say you're not good for me, and never will be. I'm buying all their pieces of advice because I can't see the follow through in you. You say you want to be friends with me and you don't want to lose me, but you say you still like me so what's the hold up when I asked you what we are exactly? I can't play mind games anymore. If you are doing this for that purpose, you win. You win, okay? You got me now. Just... stop. I may not speak in volumes but I do show how much I still like you.

When we talk about it again, I just want a single answer to this question: Do you want to be with me?

That's it. Take it or leave it.

Day by day, I' m stepping out the sidelines, step by step towards the stage. Sooner or later, I'm gonna take the final bow. Your time is up, our time is up. Hopefully this time, I've learned my lesson. I don't wanna see you again. I got hurt, though I may not show it. I have been that close to loving you. Almost, because I was protecting myself. It was sheer bullshit and I was too stubborn to admit it. I now acknowledge that I am bitter. Bitter for letting myself into the bullshit. It stops right here, right now. I'm forgetting we even became friends.

Labels: music

Because you didn't choose me, I'm moving on. Whatever reason you have, I don't care anymore. That's it. I lost you again. I got my answer. Now, I'll date other people who will never see me as second best. This could be the chance that I've been talking about, the one where in there will come a day you're gonna meet a guy whose place you wish you took. I just really needed my friends to tell me that you're not worth it. Maybe you never were.

I'm going, going.... gone.

In the end,

we only regret the chances we didn't take,

the relationships we were scared to have

and the decisions we waited too long to make.

There comes a time in your life when you realize...

who matters,

who doesn't,

who never did

and who always will...


so don't worry about the people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

I guess you will always matter to me, even if I am willing to make things work but you don't. You will always matter to me but I can't wait that long for you. I've waited for you for years but it's time to let it die.

A piece of my heart will always be with you but the bullshit ends here. I want you back but you don't want me that badly.

I'm giving up the fight. I don't want to fight for your heart anymore. It's just a pointless, lost cause going in circles. I've grown tired of the moments, mind games and waiting. I raise my white flag because I can't let my heart get hurt again. I've been through enough.

The next time we see each other could be the last. It's over... so over.